For anyone who has every wrestled with the question of whether it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, Andrew Martin’s memoir shouts a resounding, Yes!
Dr. Ira Byock
Dartmouth Medical School
Author of Dying Well and The Four Things That Matter Most
Reflections of a Loving Partner: Caregiving at the End of Life is a valuable reflection for health care providers of the intense experience of illness and what loving caregivers live in their 24-hour a day job of care at home. For anyone who has or is now living the role of family caregiver, reading this book will give you solace in sharing this experience that is hard to describe, both in the burdens as well as the joys of serving another. “
Betty Ferrell PhD, MA, FAAN, FPCN
City of Hope National Medical Center.
Principal Investigator, End of Life Nursing Education Consortium
Andrew Martin has done a beautiful job of sharing his story of struggle and survival in caring for Gil, his partner who died of AIDS. His description of rituals and ceremonies and his recitation of “remembrance” is clearly articulated through this work. This is a story of hope—taking an unplanned event and turning it into a life’s work of great meaning and promise.
Pam Malloy, RN, MN, OCN, FPCN
ELNEC Project Director
American Association of Colleges of Nursing (AACN)
I read your manuscript with admiration and respect for the insights you provide into the process of caregiving, and amazement at the love your writing manifests. Reflections of a Loving Partner: Cargiving at the End of Life is poignant, wise, and sweet, a wonderful memorial, allowing me passage through the looking-glass of my profession into unimagined intimacy with a caregiver and his well-loved patient. This book is among many other things a recipe for growth at the end of life.
Patrick Clary, MD
New Hampshire Palliative Care Service
DYING FOR BEGINNERS
It is tempting to see AIDS as something that “used to be” in this country. While C. Andrew Martin’s experience is a retrospective, there is so much to learn from his journey and how it continues to influence his life, as he says “some things do not change with time.” So true when you realize that according to the CDC, there are still 18,000 people who die from this disease every year in this country alone. Let this book serve as an awakening to our own feelings about caring for someone we love and assist us to never forget those affected by HIV/AIDS.
Gary Gardia, M.Ed., LCSW, CT
Andrew Martin’s Reflections engages the reader in an intimate journey of love through living, dying, and learning to live and give through it all with deeper intention and care. Andrew’s life-lessons gently stir the reader’s own substantive reflections about one’s eventual dying and ultimately, one’s own living today.
Joy Berger, DMA, BCC, MT-BC
Author, Music of the Soul – Composing Life Out of Loss
In this intimate memoir, Andrew Martin beams a powerful light into the private worlds of AIDS, hospice training, caregiving, and bereavement. Not only is his story a testament to the transcendent potential of grief but also to the redemptive power of love.
Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW
Transitions and Loss Counseling
Author of Transcending Loss
Sometimes sentimental, sometimes practical, always brutally honest and moving.
Patricia A. Tabloski, PhD., GNP-BC, FGSA
Associate Dean For Graduate Studies
William F. Connell School of Nursing at Boston College
Andrew Martin artfully details the lover’s end-of-life experience while simultaneously capturing the capacity of the human spirit. This powerful work denotes human essence, caring, and the magnitude of learning opportunities living and dying both offers when we are open.
Dr. Lois C. Hamel, PhD, Adult NP
Director of Graduate and Online Nursing, Saint Joseph’s College of Maine
Dr. Hamel is ELNEC certified, and truly believes in the transformative power of education
All of us wonder if we have “what it takes”—the strength, kindness and other gifts necessary to make the best caregivers for our loves—this book shares the real-world story of care, loss and survival.
Andrew Martin brings us into his world of caregiving and hope –with loving lessons for life and beyond.
Tina Marrelli, MSN, MA, RN, FAAN
Editor and Author of the “Hospice and Palliative Care Handbook” and “Home Health Aide: Guidelines for Care”
Reflections of a Loving Partner: Caregiving at the End of Life is a gentle guide to self-care while companioning a loved one from diagnosis, through treatment and death. Not sure how to manage all that he knew would be needed from him, the author attends a volunteer training at a local hospice in an attempt for guidance. The lessons learned from the hospice training, woven into and throughout the memoir, provide valuable insights into how to understand what is happening, what to do as the end of life approaches and the possibilities for tender and authentic communication. The author learned the lessons well and graciously shares them with the rest of us.
Heather Wilson, Ph.D.
Weatherbee Resources, Inc. and the Hospice Education Network
It was my privilege to share a chronicle of passion. Andrew’s story is one that you must read the first time for the joy of the love story, and the second time to share the journey through hospice. The art of storytelling is captured by Andrew as he takes the reader by the hand through each step of understanding a dreaded prognosis, becoming a caregiver and always remaining a soul mate. Thank you Andrew for sharing the intimacies of caring.
Beacon Hospice, Inc.